AGNES
Amputee to an Enabler
Can you describe your life before your road traffic accident? Lifestyle, Work, aspirations etc?
I had just graduated from university. I felt that I had finally gained independence, I was a young adult. I had a career and was looking forward to build up the career. I was full of dreams and aspirations, and eager to take on the world.
What happened? How did the accident changed your life in terms of Health, lifestyle, finances, work, outlook of life etc?
In 2003, when the world took on SARS, I faced the greatest challenge of my life.
On one fateful night, 9 Jan 2003, I was on my way home as a pillion rider on my friend’s motorbike. While making a right turn at the traffic light junction near home, we were hit at the side by an oncoming car. I was thrown off the motorbike and my left foot was severed on the spot.
I had multiple fractures on my ribs and left leg. My left foot was so badly crushed that the doctors could not re-attach it, and the only solution was an amputation.
I found myself in the high dependency ward for about 4 more days, and spent another 19 days in the normal ward before I finally went home. But life after amputation changed drastically. I felt my world come crashing down.
The physical recovery was difficult, especially as Singapore was battling SARS. My Rehab Centre, the Artificial Limb Centre, was located at Tan Tock Seng Hospital, which was the main quarantined hospital for SARS Patients. That meant access to the rehab centre was next to impossible as they closed off all non-essential services to fully take on SARS.
It took more than 6 months to be able to get my 1st prosthesis. That marked a change because I regained mobility. I was able to learn how to walk! I was able to ditch the crutches and wheelchair. As an adult, I never thought I had to relearn how to walk.
But while my physical recovery was difficult, it was my emotional and mental recovery that took a lot more effort. The loss of the leg affected me mentally in ways I was not prepared for.
Before, I used to check myself from head to toe prior to leaving home. After the accident, I found myself in front of the mirror, staring at the emptiness where my left leg once stood.
I lost the independence I treasured; I was dependent on the family to help with basic chores such as getting a cup of water from the kitchen, or holding me up when I tried to stand.
I was, and still am, an outgoing person. I could not stand staying at home the whole day. Short walks around the neighbourhood brought me relief from being stuck indoors. But after the accident, this simple act became an impossible luxury.
My body became a physical oddity. Strangers would come up to my parents when I was with them, and in front of me, ask what had happened to their daughter. Good hearted uncles and aunties would stare and unconsciously do a double take to confirm that I was indeed missing one leg. I felt like an outcast.
My friends and fellow public servants in the ministry helped tremendously; they raised at least $13,000, which was an immense financial support for me and my family. Their generosity supported me, helping to pay part of my medical expenses.
My family savings were impacted negatively as a result of the accident; I was unable to earn an income, I had to rely on them to foot my medical bills, and I had to live off them. I felt I was no different from a leech.
Did/ Will having any insurance payout/ benefits make a difference to your treatment options, mental health, financial health etc?
Having insurance payout would have given me more choices of prosthetics. For example, at that time, it cost about $4,000 to $5,000 for a prosthetic leg suitable for walking comfortably. An additional $2,000 - $3,000 would allow for an adjustable prosthetic foot suitable for high heel footwear. But to have a leg to support running, it would probably cost at least $18,000 and above. Additional costs include maintenance, and the leg will need replacement after a few years of use.
Given that I was not as physically abled as before, with an operation scheduled every year for the next 4 years, being employed and having an income was of paramount importance. And I was fortunate that I could continue to work. I met a fellow patient who had lost a leg, and as a result of the physical challenges, he lost his job. Disasters like this can have long term implications on life.
After the accident, life was no longer about dreams and aspirations. Survival was the key. Having a job, getting an income, and making sure that my employers can empathise with the need of a staff having to go for frequent medical appointments/ rehab/ operations became the focus of my life.
If you could turn back the clock, what would you have done differently with your life? Hobbies, work, family, finances?
I had life insurances and endowment plans then, and just like anyone else, I believed that I had spent a lot of money on insurance. What I failed to consider was whether I was spending on the right policies. If I could turn back the clock, I would find out more about my insurances and pick up a hospitalisation plan and personal accident plan. I would also have been more careful with my money and set aside more so that I had a buffer for rainy days.
How has life changed for you since the amputation and what sparked the difference.
It has been more than 17 years since I lost my leg. I could have died in the accident that night, but I am thankful that I only lost a leg. Clearly, I was given a 2nd chance in life.
Over the years, I had people telling me how good a walker I was, as I walked without limping. Well-meaning people advised me to dress up with long skirts or pants to cover up the leg, so that no one could tell that I am disabled. For years, I heeded the advice; I wanted to hide my disability. I wanted to avoid the unwanted stares, and the conversations that revolved around sympathy. In reality, I was hiding from myself.
It took me many more years to fully embrace myself and my body, to have the confidence to wear shorts and heels again. To emerge from hiding, and to come out in the open, to stand tall and shout “Hey, there is nothing wrong with me, with being physically disabled. I do some things differently from others, but that’s all. I am still who I am.”
After I accepted myself, I accomplished feats that I never thought possible again. I run, I swim, I rockclimb, I hike. I even ventured into theatre acting. Nothing stops the body, so long if the mind believes.
I was not a beneficiary of insurance, but I was lucky to be a beneficiary of love and kindness by many generous people.
I left the public service 5 years after the accident to set up my own business, before becoming a financial adviser.
Am I a believer of insurance? Definitely. But more importantly, it is about being rightly and responsibly insured. I went through the ordeal of saving a penny and losing a dollar. Now, I subscribe to being penny wise and pound wiser.
My attitude towards life: We only live once. Make each day count.